Have you seen those frozen crock pot dinners that you can buy in the supermarket? Who buys those things? Having a crock pot is already admitting that you’re kind of person who would like to sleep twelve hours a night. Having a crock pot frozen dinner is like saying that after you sleep those twelve hours, you want a servant to carry you around your house on a cot.
How long does it take to chop up the ingredients for a standard crock pot stew, anyway? Five minutes? Do people who buy crock pot dinners pride themselves on their time management?
“I’ve saved an average of five minutes a night by putting in a crock pot frozen dinner rather than chopping up fresh meat and vegetables. With that time, I’ve learned three languages, two martial arts, and the difference between ‘meiosis’ and ‘mitosis.’ But I’m really hoping they make a ‘time saver’ version for busy people like me. You’d buy the dinner, and twelve hours later it would cook itself, jump down off the stove, leap on to your face, and pour itself down your throat.”
Yay! I’m not the only person who hates this crap! I recently found a bag of packaged frozen crock pot crap in my mom’s freezer and grumbled about “tasteless, frozen, chemical laden, nutritionally-bankrupt crap for the laziest of the lazy. And you’re retired! What are you doing that keeps you so busy that you can’t chop some carrots and throw them in a pot with a piece of steak?” Her defense? “I had a coupon!” She says that about everything.
People with two young kids buy that crap. They sleep 6 interrupted hours a night, are avid runners, and have been known to buy taquitos from QuickTrip for lunch because it’s quick and cheap. Luckily, they feed their kids healthy foods and save the crap for themselves. They will probably die of pre-prepared-food-cancer at the age of 62.
it means a lot to a hungry family that you’re willing to cook frozen food for 8 hours instead of 45 minutes. You can taste the extra electricty, and it tastes like love. I actually finally got my own self a crock pot and I was infuriated to find that it did not come with any actual pot. Why do I even live in California, then? I believe the ultimate in convenience will be the self-pooping frozen crock entree. The eight hours that stuff cooks on your countertop is nothing compared to the three days it cooks in your undercarriage.
I would like to sleep 12 hours a night then have people carry me around on a cot, but I don’t want pre-made Crock Pot dinners. I just really like to sleep.
First, I think Brad is right.
Then, I bought one because it was on sale and I was under the mistaken impression that it was ‘inspired by slow-cookers’ but that I would be eating my cheap stupid food in a few short microwave minutes.
I got home and realized that they wanted me to throw this unholy mess into an actual crock-pot for hecka hours!
Ask me about the time I bought Wolfgang Puck’s self-heating diet mocha! If I don’t answer, ask my cancer.
Yeah, the next step is full meals in pill form.
I’m all for meals in pill form. Bring ‘em on.
Crock pot dinners are for people who don’t have the time/energy to measure out six cups of salt to add to each meal. I mean, how the hell else are people supposed to maintain 4,000 times their daily recommended sodium requirement?
wait, they make frozen crock-pot dinners now?
if i had known this, i might actually have been using my crock pot all this time !
The time saver version would only go over well if it also included downloading 4 hours worth of prime time television directly into your brain...while you were sleeping, so that you could stay up on the who’s and what’s on your coffee breaks.
I want 12 hours to sleep and I want servants… is that so wrong?