There are a few warning signs that indicate when it may be time to get a new car.
For example, when the car gets dirty, people don’t use the collected dust to make smartass recommendations about washing; instead they write “ABANDON ME.”
When you drive by to pick up a date, she says “Hey, you know...next time, maybe we can just meet on bikes.”
And then there’s the sticker you get after a routine tune up. You know, the one that says “NEXT SERVICE DUE.” Instead of filling in mileage and a date, the mechanic just scribbles in a frowny face.
Sometimes I think about getting rid of it and buying a new one, but I know what will happen when I try to trade it in.
“Thanks for the great price on my new car. Now, here’s the car I’m currently driving. What kind of discount will that get me?”
“Discount? You just raised the price by a grand. And give us back the damn fruit basket.”
Eventually I’ll have to drive it to a bad part of Oakland and perform a reverse car jacking--putting a gun to the head of a passerby and scream “GET IN! GET IN!” I’ll keep the gun trained on him until he drives off, and then I’ll run away on foot.
They’ll put out an All Points Bulletin: “Suspect is a white male, last seen breaking into an auto dealership while screaming “I’m free!” Victim was found in a state of shock behind the steering wheel of the perpetrator’s green Civic. He was carried out of the vehicle and loaded into an ambulance, mumbling all the while “Sure the gas mileage is great and it hardly needs maintenance, but it’s so drab...so boring...so...predictable...”
The time to buy a new car is when you start thinking about buying a new car. It helps to have lots of money.
We just got a new car. My husband threatened for years to leave my old truck by the side of the road and walk away if it ever belted out one last burp, clank or clunk and left him stranded. Fortunately, we were never stranded - that leads me to wonder if it was really time to get rid of it yet.
i put a new engine in my ‘83 cadillac last year. please let us participate in your choice of a new car. make a survey or build her a cake or sumsing.
I think your next car should be a Stutz Bearcat. Think how awesome you’ll look driving it in your straw boater and fur coat.
That Bearcat is awesome!
All good signs, yes. I’ll add one ... it’s time to get a new car when you can’t read the “1969 Chevelle” on your current car’s grill anymore.
-- david
Wait a few more months to get This Car and then your life will be complete - you freakin’ hippy.
I drive a vehicle that gets 90+ mpg. I don’t care what anyone says. I’m not trading it in.
Seriously, don’t underestimate the kinds of random crap that people will buy on Craigslist. We found a buyer for my crap car in less than 24 hours and ended up getting double what the dealer offered on trade-in. A pain in the ass, but worth it.
Also, the first part of this post smells like a McSweeney’s list. Hop to it.