This week I gave a talk in Arizona. After I was done speaking, I froze for a few moments just to enjoy the experience of people applauding. It didn’t mean anything, of course--people tend to applaud after a talk, whether or not they actually liked it--but it didn’t matter. Sincere or not, it’s not every day that people clap for something you’ve done, and it’s an experience worth savoring.
Ironically, there’s only one time when you can be sure that people are applauding sincerely, and it’s the time when it matters the least. When people clap after a movie, you know they mean it because there’s no one there to offend. At the same time, of course, it’s completely ludicrous. It may well be true that the audience members liked the movie, but I can tell you that the object of their enthusiasm, Tom Hanks, neither knows nor cares.
I did get an idea for a clock radio, however. Usually I wake up to my NPR station and it’s okay except when people are yapping on about pledge drives or collapsing financial markets. Wouldn’t it be great if a clock could wake you up to the sound of rapturous applause? Because let’s face it--it’s not your fault that you need to check out for eight hours at a time, getting your strength back and drooling on your pillow. It would be a nice feeling if, each and every day, you woke up feeling as though the world was welcoming you back to its stage.
I personally love it when people applaud on an airplane after it lands! I always wonder if the pilot can hear it, and if so, whether it makes him/her happy.
Applause alarm is an awesome idea. Would be even better if you could personalize it by having people yell out your name. Of course, this could also be used for evil if you could mess around with other people’s alarms.
When I was in my 20s I had a boyfriend who loved to get it on to a live Eagles albumn (actually cassette tape.) I could tell he thought the crowd was cheering for him. I thought I was being pretty encouraging, but it’s good to have backup.
I was at the Exploratorium a few weekends ago and they’ve got an exhibit that’s a little booth with a dias in the front; bright lights shine down on you from above and in front and with the curtain behind you it feels very isolated. A recorded voice asks you to step up to the mic and to say hello when prompted - the sound quality is booming and echoing. You get the cue and say hello, and crowd noise erupts - often inappropriately, with laughter or boos. It’s a very strange feeling. Then again I’d spent a lot of time already on the gyrochair so everything felt a little strange.
There’s a clock radio now that wakes you up by cooking a slice of bacon at your bedside.
If only they could build sonic technology into condoms, we could be treated to applause when such a confidence boost could matter most.
And once you’ve gone down that path, the fun could be endless. Things could start with a bit of Barry White and then move on to the Theme from Benny Hill for the frenetic last few seconds.
Hmmm…