He waits patiently for you to perform...every single day.
She only visits if you can rise to the occasion.
But you can’t write. You can’t post. You can’t waste time on the Internet like you know you should.
You suffer from Blog Block. Don’t let it ruin your life.
Introducing new Blogtrex!
Blogtrex is a new prescription drug that unblocks the blood vessels cutting off circulation to necessary parts of your body. Once you take Blogtrex, you’ll find:
Words will spill from your fingertips like you’re some kind of blogging badass. People will link to you because they want to be you. Wil Wheaton will ask for your autograph.
Don’t delay. Find out if Blogtrex is right for you. Talk to your doctor today!*
*Warning: Side effects of taking Blogtrex include but are not limited to losing your job, pissing off your friends and family, ruining your relationships, carpal tunnel syndrome, obssessively Googling yourself, and engaging in Google warfare like a total ‘tard. Please do not take Blogtrex if you are a heavy drinker, a light drinker, or have consumed any beverages of any kind. Please do not take Blogtrex if you are pregnant or have ever been birthed by a pregnant woman.
so much mocky in this entry.
i’m ODing on the mockyness.
mocky mocky mocky.
yes yes… but is there any help in sight for those of us who find ourselves frequently comment-impaired?
a new prescription drug? didn’t i get an email about this? it won’t have any side effect on my cock, will it?
I seriously hope that I am not the only person here who was not carried in the stomach of a pregnant woman.
little. white. different.
mahi mahi? Okay.
(feeds Kate fish)
(which is good food for an irony-deprived diet)
That woman is just “Pretty Asian Woman150_80”? Oh, cruel demographers! That’s all you see? A pretty Asian woman?
I liked the side-effects list for the pill for social anxiety disorder: nausea, vomiting, explosive diarrhea, flatulence ... Wouldn’t all that be cause for social anxiety?
I’m waiting for the pill that makes my blog bright and cheerful, my person attractive to others, and my Nigerian oil pipeline fully funded with rich international investors. That’s a slightly bigger pill, if you think you can swallow it…
Are you sure there aren’t sexual side effects? Any good drug has sexual side effects. Of course they’re never really specific about it, which makes me curious and kinda excited.
There’s a new Alheimer’s pill being advertised on TV ("Send in for the memory test") and the first side effect mentioned is FAINTING!! No kidding!! Let’s give dear old mom one of these so she will faint and break her hip, at least she’ll remember it! Good Lord....
your entry was funny until the bit where you wrote “total ‘tard”. then it was hilarious. hurrah for randomly amusing phrases and words
Luckily, I was carried in a womb, not a stomach. (Wouldn’t a pregnant have to *eat* a fetus to get it into the stomach?) So I’m going for the pills. Blogging monsterdom, here I come!
A pregnant? I hate it when I skip words. Make that ‘a pregnant woman’ with the fetus eating.
I’ve been sitting here staring blankly at the page trying to come up with a comment for five minutes, so clearly I need this drug and how. Even though I’m drinking a beverage.
The best side effects I ever heard of were, “Sudden, uncontrollable bowel movements and gas with oily discharge.” It was for that pill that kept you from digesting fat.