I recently installed TIVO and couldn’t believe it. You can pause live TV! I sat there watching shows then pausing them and hitting “play” again. It was mind boggling.
The thing is, I only watch intelligent television with complex, highly sophisticated content, so it’s very helpful to be able to pause shows when I need to. For example, the pizza man rang the doorbell, so I quickly paused Cartoon Network’s Krypto the Superdog and opened the door and waved the TIVO control and said “Isn’t this cool?”
He said, “Yeah, but you owe me--”
I accidentally hit the “pause” button while pointing it at the pizza guy. He froze in place.
Horrified, I quickly hit “Play” again.
“--$19.98 plus tip.”
I stared at the remote. This technology was even more powerful than I suspected.
I went to work. My manager called me into his office and said, “We’re interested in leveraging synergies with our new partners. At the end of the day, one of our paramount goals will be to achieve organizational energies driven by bottom line revenue as well as top line--”
I pointed the TIVO remote at him and hit “Pause.” Then I called my friend. We went to a few bars. We had a good time. Things got a little crazy.
Eventually, around 2 a.m., I stumbled back to work. It was dark. Everyone had gone home except for my manager. I went back into his office, sat down, pointed the TIVO, and hit “Play.”
“--productivity. In addition.......say, did you always have underwear on your head?”
Posted by Greg at 07:40 AM. Filed under:
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Wouldn’t that be wonderful?! That is until someone did it to you.
Does it also allow you to rewind and play the good parts over and over? Now I’d sign up for that.
Underwear on your head? What’s her name?
Seriously, you just NOW got TiVo? Bless your heart. You will love it. And yes, its intended purpose is to enter intellecutally fulfilling BBC movies like “Pride and Prejudice” into your wish list, and to record things like “The Red Violin” and “Citizen Ruth”.
But at our house, the set in the bedroom (MINE) records all the rerun episodes of “Buffy” and “Angel” and subtitled foreign films that hubby won’t want to watch. The set in the living room (HIS) exists to record “Cheers”, “The Andy Griffith Show”, and “Battlestar Galactica”.
My husband, bless his heart, had the foresight (although I admit I mocked him at the time) to buy a lifetime contract for TiVo service for something like $200 when it first came out. We’ve had it for years now.
Wanna have some fun? Play around with the “wish list”, especially using the “keyword” feature. Just imagine it--you program in your keywords, and TiVo will automatically capture any programming that has to do with, say..."aluminum underpants.” The implications are mind-boggling.
Tivo is so much better than penicillin.
I especially enjoyed the ads for genital wart treatments kindly provided at left. How did Google come up with that one? Perhaps the word “underwear”?
next time, try changing the channel before reviving your boss. that way instead of going on about maximizing viability or whatever he likes you to hear him say, he’ll just suddenly be Pamela Anderson. The head boxers become superfluous. Just make sure not to turn him into Jennifer Garner unless you’re wearing kevlar and a cup. She doesn’t take kindly to that whole in medias res thing.
I’ve had TiVo since it came out and I LOVE it. I will be buried with my TiVo when I die. But Greg, seriously, no more watching Krypto. It’s a horrible show and isn’t remotely related to the comic story lines. Tune in to Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends or Grimm Adventres with Billy and Mandy instead
i love the tivo noises.
My aunt has worked for Tivo since it’s inception, and I remember her telling us about this new company she works for that is working on technology that pauses live tv!!! We were all, “Yeah right… stop lying you dirty liar.”
What’s all this stuff on my face? Oh, it’s just egg.
i would have put the underwear on the boss’s head before pushing pause again. you know, for added comic affect and all.
I want Tivo now !
Yes, Pam, you do. It is so awesome. Not that I normally choose television over a ripping good read or a rousing game of chess, you understand, but just think of the possibilities...if you have it on two sets in the house, you could record FOUR shows while watching TWO others, ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Not that we do that.
But I shamefully admit that we, too, like Greg, TiVo quite a bit of Cartoon Network.
The downside--if you have a man in your life, gone are the days of just suffering through sporting events ONCE. Now we have to watch Matt Jones’ every play over and over, in slow-mo, backwards, and the antagonizing frame-by-frame. You’ve been warned.
Well...unless that man is me. I hate sports.
Battlestar Galactica, though--no promises.
Oh, Lord---I can see it now. Frame-by-frame Cylon love scenes and mutilations. Wheeeee.
Oh thank the heavens. I thought it was just MY Tivo remote that was able to alter time.
Don’t worry, there is no man in my life. Thankfully the woman in my life likes the same TV shows I do.
Welcome to your new addiction. I get up every day and turn on the TV. Cruise through the guide and pick out everything I want to watch and record it. Then I watch all the stuff I recorded the day before because now I CANNOT watch TV unless I can fast forward through the commercials. Even if the show is just now coming on, I will record it and watch it when it is over just so I can skip all the commercials. I may never leave my house again.....
Hah Belinda, I have CN on all the time in my place. It’s fricken awesome now that I have a DVR on one tv that can record two channels at once, and TiVo on the other. no more lame commercials. No more “there’s nothing on”. But, I’m one of those rare gals who likes sports and both contraptions are wonderful for instant instant replays! I honestly can’t watch tv at the homes of family and friends anymore because commercials annoy me and I go into my TiVo sales pitch
Greg got TIVO. Heh. Now, on to demilitarization in the Middle East…
Oh, YES, Windy--watching non-TiVo’d television is torture! Especially if someone talks over some important dialog and you say, “Wait--run that back...oh, yeah.” *hang head in sadness* “We missed it FOREVER.”
Another handy feature is if you can’t understand what someone is saying, even when you’ve run it back and listened, you can run it back, hit “mute” on your TV, and watch it again with the closed captioning on. Voila! TiVo is SO the greatest.
Have you ever read The Fermata? This guy sort of invents, sort of is born with a Tivo-like remote for his life.
Obviously, he uses it for sex.
Makes for a pretty hot book.
Really? I did read Baker’s Vox, which everyone said was hot too, but it seemed very self conscious to me...about as hot as someone who’s mortified to really get naked.