I hate the expression “the coast is clear.” The term is used in everyday life in the context of being chased by secret agents and the Russian mafia, but it should only be allowed when there’s actually a coast around. Otherwise, it makes no sense at all. And not just any coast. For example, anyone who uses the expression while standing on a beach in Santa Barbara is either blind or a high-ranking Chevron official.

My friend Meredith, in remarking on the Scooby Doo post below, mentioned that while watching the cartoon as a 4-year old, she thought the characters were actually saying “The ghost is clear.” Which makes complete sense. Her anecdote, coupled with the fact that children don’t pay income taxes, leads me to theorize that we all start out as geniuses but grow up to be incredibly stupid.