I recently started driving a slightly nicer car, and I’ve noticed that very expensive cars now park next to mine.

I find this very irritating.  They are probably thinking that since my car is new-ish, I’m not going to drive carelessly and ding them.

They have severely underestimated me.  I am not some pampered pansy.  I am 155 pounds of road rage. Sometimes, after coming home after driving in commuter traffic, I park my driveway and then run back out on the highway and start screaming again at passing cars, just to make my point.

I do not wish to be driving what I’m driving.  I wish to be driving the General Lee. And one day, just to prove that it’s not good to make assumptions, I’m going to gun the gas on my new-ish car and turn their fancy-dancy cars into metal accordions.  But don’t worry--I’ll leave a note on the hood. It’ll say “I look forward to you getting soaked even more when Obama’s healthcare plan hits the $250K and up bracket.  Also, wash your windshield.”