Motherhood books are full of facts, figures, and statistics regarding the need for the mother to “bond” with her newborn baby within minutes of the birthing act.  Done via both touch and gaze, this bonding constitutes a crucially important step for both parent and child alike.  While I do not dispute the findings of these studies, I do take issue with the lack of any academic or clinical material on a less significant but still highly important form of bonding: Uncle/niece.  I present my own anecdotal evidence here in the hopes that more trained individuals can begin to update existing materials and include the role of the Uncle in the child development process.

(2 Weeks of Cam’s existence.  Dialogue proceeds while Uncle is attempting to burp her.)

Me: So, I’m Uncle Greg.  Great, huh?

Cam: You have no breasts.  Therefore, your existence is inconsequential.

Me: No no.  I’m an Uncle.  I’m less cool than a parental unit but totally better than your parents’ friends who irritate you.

Cam: Hey, watch the head.  So what does an Uncle do?

Me: I can read Lemony Snicket books to you and you can come over to my place and we can dance to Talking Heads.

Cam: Talking Heads?  That’s so very before-I-was-born.

Me: Whatever, you choose the tunes.

Cam: Whoa, hey, check this out.

(HUGE BURP.  It reverberates throughout several street blocks.  Union workers look up from loading crates into oil tankers and high-five each other: “She’s one of us.")

Cam: Sweet, that was almost as good going up as going in.  Milk is great.

Me: Yeah, milk is good.

Cam: Well, thanks for the burp and for not letting my head flop around. I’m going to have a crap and take a nap.  Care to join me?

Me: No no, I’m good.  You go ahead.

Cam: Okay, nice to meet you.  Don’t feet bad if I don’t remember your name next time I see you.  I’m not good with names yet.  Or, y’know, words.

Me: Not an issue. Take it easy.

Cam: Like that’ll be a problem.