The Yeti got me going with the idea that the pope might be chosen just the way Buffy the Vampire Slayer was--that there’s someone next in line to become “magically popey.” In the TV show, a young girl is chosen by the Powers that Be and empowered to fight the forces of darkness.  When she dies, another slayer is called to take her place. As the Yeti implies, there’s a similar concept behind the pope; people might mourn his loss, but another one will pop up pretty soon and there’s always popes-to-be waiting in the wings.

Then I started thinking about the final episode of Buffy, where the good guys changed the rules and cast a spell that activated all the slayers-in-waiting.  Suddenly, there were hundreds of superpowered girls ready to protect the earth and avenge the innocent.  I’m forced to ask: why don’t we do the same thing with the pope?  Let’s not just choose one of them. Let’s find all the people who would be in line to become pope and just say “You’re all popes. Get on it.” We could give them a bunch of big hats and just like that! we’ve made the world a safer place for humanity. 

Buffy is our guide: We shouldn’t settle for one when we can have many.  I don’t mean to be ridiculous and suggest that we call them slayers, or anything.  I would call them the “popepourri.”