He waits patiently for you to perform...every single day.

She only visits if you can rise to the occasion.

But you can’t write.  You can’t post.  You can’t waste time on the Internet like you know you should.

You suffer from Blog Block.  Don’t let it ruin your life.

Introducing new Blogtrex!

Blogtrex is a new prescription drug that unblocks the blood vessels cutting off circulation to necessary parts of your body.  Once you take Blogtrex, you’ll find:

Witty things to say about current events!

Hilarious commentary about your day-to-day life!

Heartfelt confessions that really make your readers think!

Words will spill from your fingertips like you’re some kind of blogging badass. People will link to you because they want to be you.  Wil Wheaton will ask for your autograph.

Don’t delay. Find out if Blogtrex is right for you.  Talk to your doctor today!*

*Warning: Side effects of taking Blogtrex include but are not limited to losing your job, pissing off your friends and family, ruining your relationships, carpal tunnel syndrome, obssessively Googling yourself, and engaging in Google warfare like a total ‘tard.  Please do not take Blogtrex if you are a heavy drinker, a light drinker, or have consumed any beverages of any kind.  Please do not take Blogtrex if you are pregnant or have ever been birthed by a pregnant woman.